Is Your Job Burning You Out? The Power of Boundaries in the Workplace
Do you feel like you're constantly "on" at work? Always the first one in and the last one out? Do you find yourself saying "yes" to every request, even when you're already overwhelmed? Do you collapse on the couch every night, too exhausted to do anything but scroll through your phone?
If this sounds familiar, you might be struggling to set boundaries in the workplace. And you're not alone. A recent Gallup study found that 23% of employees report feeling burned out at work very often or always, while another 44% report feeling burned out sometimes (Gallup, 2022). That's two-thirds of the workforce struggling with the consequences of overwork!
Why Are Workplace Boundaries So Hard to Set?
Let's face it, setting boundaries at work can feel risky. We worry about the consequences, about rocking the boat, about being seen as difficult or uncooperative. Research has shown that these fears are often deeply rooted in our upbringing and past experiences. Here are a few common factors that contribute to our difficulty in setting limits:
Fear of job loss: In today's economy, it's understandable to fear that saying "no" could jeopardize your job. A 2021 study by the American Psychological Association found that job insecurity is a major source of stress for many workers (American Psychological Association, 2021).
The need to please: Many of us are people-pleasers by nature. We want to be liked and respected by our colleagues and bosses. This can make it hard to turn down requests, even when we're already overloaded. Research suggests that this tendency often stems from childhood experiences where our needs were not consistently met or validated (Lancer, 2014).
The pressure to succeed: We live in a culture that often glorifies overwork. We're made to feel like we need to constantly go above and beyond to prove our worth. This can lead to a relentless pursuit of achievement, at the expense of our well-being.
Internalized beliefs: Perhaps you were raised to believe that hard work means always saying "yes," or that prioritizing your own needs is selfish. These internalized beliefs can make it incredibly difficult to set limits, even when you desperately need them.
The Silent Struggle: The Cost of Poor Boundaries
When we fail to set boundaries at work, the consequences ripple through every aspect of our lives:
Burnout: Constantly pushing yourself beyond your limits can lead to emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion. You might feel cynical, drained, and resentful. The World Health Organization now recognizes burnout as an "occupational phenomenon" characterized by feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion, increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one's job, and reduced professional efficacy (World Health Organization, 2019).
Decreased Productivity: Ironically, overwork often leads to decreased productivity. When we're burned out, we're less focused, less creative, and more prone to making mistakes. A Stanford study found that productivity per hour declines sharply when the workweek exceeds 50 hours, and productivity drops off so much after 55 hours that there’s no point in working any more (Pencavel, 2014).
Anxiety and Depression: The chronic stress of overwork can take a toll on your mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and even physical health problems. Studies have shown a strong correlation between work-related stress and an increased risk of mental health disorders (Niedhammer et al., 2006).
Strained Relationships: When you're constantly stressed and overwhelmed, it can be difficult to be truly present in your relationships. You might find yourself snapping at your partner, zoning out when your kids are talking to you, or withdrawing from social activities altogether.
Loss of Enjoyment: Burnout can steal the joy from activities you once loved. Hobbies, passions, and even simple pleasures like reading a book or watching a movie can feel like a chore.
Compromised Downtime: Even when you're not working, your mind might be racing with thoughts about your to-do list. You might struggle to relax and recharge, leading to a perpetual state of exhaustion.
The Silent Struggle: Many people suffer in silence, feeling guilty or ashamed for struggling with burnout. They may fear being judged or seen as weak if they ask for help.
Breaking the Cycle: How Therapy Can Help
Therapy can provide a safe and supportive space to explore the underlying reasons why you struggle to set boundaries at work. Together, we can:
Uncover the roots of your people-pleasing tendencies. Where did this pattern originate? How is it impacting your life today?
Challenge those internalized beliefs that are holding you back. Are those beliefs truly serving you, or are they keeping you stuck in a cycle of overwork and exhaustion?
Develop assertiveness skills. Learn how to communicate your needs clearly and confidently, without guilt or apology.
Practice saying "no" (and actually meaning it!). It's okay to prioritize your well-being. In fact, it's essential.
Create a sustainable work-life balance. Learn how to manage your time and energy effectively, so you can thrive both personally and professionally.
Reclaim Your Well-being
Setting boundaries at work is an act of self-preservation. It's about recognizing your limits and honoring your needs. It's about creating a work life that feels sustainable, fulfilling, and aligned with your values.
References
American Psychological Association. (2021). Stress in America™ 2021: Stress and decision-making during the pandemic.
Gallup. (2022). Employee burnout: Causes and consequences.
Lancer, D. (2014). Codependency for dummies. John Wiley & Sons.
Niedhammer, I., Goldberg, M., Leclerc, A., David, S., & Landre, M. F. (2006). Psychosocial work environment and cardiovascular risk factors in an occupational cohort in France. Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health, 60(10), 858-864.
Pencavel, J. (2014). The productivity of working hours. The Economic Journal, 125(589), 2052-2076.
World Health Organization. (2019). Burn-out an "occupational phenomenon": International Classification of Diseases.
