When alcoholism turns into workaholism

The Seduction of the "Ism": Why We Trade One Addiction for Another

We humans are incredibly adept at finding ways to numb ourselves. When the discomfort of life becomes too much, we seek solace in anything that can offer temporary escape. This is the fertile ground where the "isms" take root – alcoholism, workaholism, perfectionism, etc. They whisper promises of control, fulfillment, and a sense of self-worth that feels otherwise elusive.

The Transformational Fantasy

At the heart of every "ism" lies a transformational fantasy. It's the belief that if we just achieve that next goal, drink that next drink, or maintain that flawless image, we will finally arrive at a place of peace and happiness. This fantasy is a powerful motivator, driving us to push harder, strive further, and sacrifice more in the pursuit of an elusive ideal.

Trading One for Another

The insidious nature of the "isms" is that they often morph and evolve, leading us to trade one for another. The recovering alcoholic may become a workaholic, channeling their addictive tendencies into their career. The perfectionist may become a fitness fanatic, transferring their obsession with control to their physical appearance.

The Applauded Addiction

Society often applauds certain "isms," particularly workaholism. We praise the dedication, the ambition, the relentless pursuit of success. But beneath the surface lies a much darker story. The workaholic may be driven by a deep-seated fear of failure, a need to prove their worth, or an inability to cope with their emotions. Their addiction to work may be just as destructive as any other, leading to burnout, broken relationships, and a profound sense of emptiness.

The Prior Addict's Struggle

For those who have struggled with addiction in the past, the allure of a socially acceptable "ism" can be particularly strong. They may see workaholism as a way to redeem themselves, to prove that they are capable of control and discipline. But without addressing the underlying issues that fueled their initial addiction, they are simply trading one form of escape for another.

The Relentless Pursuit: When Slowing Down Feels Like Failure

We chase highs. It's a fundamental part of the human experience. But sometimes, the pursuit of that next peak becomes a relentless cycle, a desperate attempt to outrun the shadows within. The story below is an amalgamation of many of the clients I’ve worked with:

Marcus, a driven entrepreneur, had always been chasing the next high. In his youth, it was drugs, the rush of euphoria that masked a deep-seated insecurity. A series of painful events led to rehab and sobriety in his 20’s, only to be replaced by the adrenaline of extreme sports. He scaled mountains, jumped out of planes, always pushing the limits, always seeking that next surge of intensity.

But the highs were always fleeting, the lows increasingly stark. Relationships faltered, unable to withstand his constant need for stimulation. His body began to bear the scars of his relentless pursuit. Yet, he couldn't stop. Slowing down felt like failure, a surrender to the emptiness he feared.

He threw himself into his work, building a successful business, achieving the accolades he thought would finally bring him satisfaction. But the emptiness remained, a gaping void that no amount of success could fill. He was trapped on a train, hurtling forward at breakneck speed, terrified of what would happen if he jumped off.

This story is not unique. Many of us chase highs, whether through substances, achievements, or experiences. We become addicted to the rush, the feeling of aliveness that momentarily eclipses the underlying pain. But the "isms" are a false promise, a seductive illusion that ultimately leads to exhaustion and despair.

The Double-Edged Sword: Drive and Ambition

It's important to acknowledge that the drive and ambition that fuel the relentless pursuit of highs are not inherently negative. These qualities are often what propel us to achieve great things, to innovate, to create, and to make a positive impact on the world.

The key lies in finding a balance, in harnessing the power of drive and ambition without becoming enslaved by them. It's about channeling those energies in a way that supports our well-being, fosters healthy relationships, and allows us to savor the journey, not just the destination.

This requires a shift in perspective, a willingness to redefine success. It means prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and cultivating a sense of inner peace that is not contingent on external achievements. It means embracing vulnerability, acknowledging our limitations, and finding joy in the simple pleasures of life.

The journey from relentless pursuit to mindful living is not easy, but it is a journey worth taking. It's a journey that leads to a deeper sense of purpose, a more authentic connection with ourselves and others, and a life that is truly fulfilling.