Couples Therapy

Your Relationship Matters. Find Clarity and Support for the Road Ahead.

When anger, hurt, or past betrayals cloud your connection, it can be difficult to know the right path. Sometimes, couples therapy is about finding a way forward together. Other times, it's about finding the courage to part ways with love and respect. I'll guide you through honest conversations and help you understand the core issues within your relationship. You'll leave with greater clarity, a renewed sense of partnership, or the tools to navigate separation in a healthy way. I offer a safe, non-judgmental space to navigate these challenges.

High-Conflict Couples Therapy

If you find yourselves in a cycle of intense arguments, criticism, and emotional reactivity, you may be considered a high-conflict couple. Traditional couples therapy approaches often aren't effective in helping these relationships and can even make things worse.

My approach to high-conflict couples therapy prioritizes de-escalation and creating a foundation of emotional safety before addressing deeper relationship issues.  My experience as a lawyer and mediator gives me a unique advantage in this area, as I'm trained in conflict resolution and skilled at helping people navigate highly charged situations.

I focus on:

  • Teaching you both techniques to manage overwhelming emotions, calm down during heated moments, and communicate more effectively.

  • Helping you recognize the specific behaviors, words, or situations that typically trigger extreme reactions and finding ways to reduce their impact.

  • Examining the destructive patterns your arguments tend to fall into and developing alternate ways of responding that foster greater understanding.

  • Learning to recognize and appreciate each other's perspectives, even in the midst of disagreement.

  • Guiding you towards accepting the aspects of your partner that you cannot change, while also encouraging each of you to take responsibility for your own actions and contributions to the conflict cycle.

High-conflict couples therapy requires patience and commitment from both partners. My goal is to provide you with the tools and support needed to break free from destructive communication patterns and build a healthier,  more fulfilling relationship.

Discernment Counseling

Discernment counseling is designed for couples where one or both partners are unsure about the future of the relationship.  If you find yourself on the brink of separation or divorce, this structured therapy can provide clarity and direction. My goal is not to save the marriage, but instead to help you both gain a deeper understanding of your relationship patterns and make informed decisions about your future.

In discernment counseling, we will focus on:

  • Exploring the reasons behind your uncertainty and helping you articulate what you each want for the future.

  • Examining patterns of interaction, communication breakdowns, and unresolved conflicts within your relationship.

  • Encouraging each partner to take responsibility for their role in the relationship's challenges.

  • Weighing the pros and cons of staying together, pursuing focused couples' therapy to work on the relationship, or moving towards separation or divorce.

Discernment counseling is a brief, focused process. My aim is to help you gain the clarity and confidence needed to move forward, whatever path you ultimately choose. 

infidelity recovery

Infidelity is a deep betrayal of trust that can leave both partners feeling devastated, confused, and unsure of the future of the relationship. Therapy can offer support and guidance as you navigate the emotional turmoil and explore the possibility of healing, whether that means rebuilding the relationship or moving toward separation.

My approach to infidelity counseling is sensitive yet structured. I aim to create a safe space for both partners to process their emotions, understand the underlying factors that contributed to the infidelity, and make informed decisions about their future.

Depending on your needs, therapy may focus on:

  • Addressing the immediate emotional upheaval, managing intense reactions, and providing tools to cope with the fallout of the betrayal.

  • Understanding the context of the infidelity, the motivations or vulnerabilities that led to it, and how it has impacted both partners.

  • If you decide to work on the relationship, developing steps to rebuild trust, transparency, and communication.

  • Guiding you through the difficult process of forgiveness (if chosen) and exploring what reconciliation might look like.

  • Helping you navigate a respectful separation if that is your choice, and processing the grief and trauma for both partners.

Infidelity recovery requires time, commitment, and a willingness to do the difficult work of rebuilding– whether as a couple or as individuals. My role is to provide support, guidance, and a non-judgmental space as you navigate this challenging path.

Co-Parenting Post-Separation

Ending a relationship can be difficult, but when children are involved the focus shifts to creating a healthy co-parenting dynamic. This form of therapy provides support and guidance as you navigate this transition and establish a plan for successfully raising your children together, even while living apart.

I can provide strategies and tools to foster cooperation and minimize conflict for the well-being of your children.

In co-parenting therapy, we'll focus on:

  • Learning to communicate effectively about your children's needs, schedules, and important decisions, even when there's underlying tension.

  • Developing strategies for resolving disagreements without involving the children or putting them in the middle of your disputes.

  • Establishing similar rules, expectations, and routines in both households to provide stability for your children.

  • Helping you make decisions together that prioritize the emotional and physical well-being of your children.

  • Learning to separate your personal feelings from your role as co-parents.

Co-parenting therapy is about putting your children's needs first. My goal is to help you build a cooperative partnership that allows you to provide your children with love, support, and stability, even after your separation.

Separation /Divorce Counseling

The decision to end a marriage or long-term relationship is rarely easy. Separation and divorce can bring up a whirlwind of emotions – sadness, anger, guilt, and uncertainty about the future.  Therapy offers a supportive and confidential space to navigate this difficult transition and help you move forward with clarity and resilience.

Depending on your stage in the process,  we can focus on:

  • If you're considering separation, exploring your reasons, discussing the potential impact on children and finances, and developing a plan to communicate your decision to your partner.

  • Providing a safe space to process emotions like grief, loss, anger, and fear about the future.

  • Assisting with navigating the legal and financial aspects of divorce, developing co-parenting plans (if applicable), and addressing logistical issues like housing and shared property.

  • Exploring your sense of self outside of the relationship, rediscovering interests and passions, and envisioning an independent future.

  • Developing coping mechanisms for loneliness or sadness, processing unresolved feelings, and creating a vision for a fulfilling life after divorce.

Whether your goal is an amicable separation, navigating a difficult divorce process, or focusing on individual healing, I'm here to offer support, guidance, and resources as you journey through this significant life change.

MISMATCHED DESIRE

When partners have significantly different levels of sexual desire, it can cause tension, frustration, and feelings of rejection.  Mismatched desire, or desire discrepancy, is a common challenge but does not mean your relationship is doomed. Therapy provides a safe space to unpack the complexities of this issue and find solutions that work for both of you.

Often, mismatched desire goes beyond simple differences in sex drive. My goal is to help you explore the various factors that may be contributing to this imbalance, such as:

  • Major life events, career demands, and general stress can significantly impact libido.

  • Underlying medical conditions or medication side effects may affect sexual desire.

  • Resentments, unresolved conflicts, and lack of emotional connection can create distance and dampen sexual interest.

  • Exploring whether your needs and preferences around sex and intimacy are compatible.

  • Examining personal beliefs about sexuality and addressing any shame or guilt that may be present.

In therapy, we’ll work on:

  • Developing ways to talk about sex and desire in a respectful and non-judgmental manner.

  • Exploring broader forms of intimacy (emotional, physical, sensual) to foster connection and closeness.

  • Negotiating ways to meet both partners' needs and creating a balance that feels fair and satisfying.

Therapy for mismatched desire aims to help you understand the root causes, improve communication, and find a path towards greater sexual and relational satisfaction.

lack of intimacy

Intimacy in a relationship encompasses emotional closeness, physical touch, and a feeling of deep connection. When intimacy fades, it can leave partners feeling lonely, unloved, and unsure of how to bridge the gap. Therapy provides a safe space to explore the root causes of this distance and guide you towards rekindling a sense of closeness and warmth.

In therapy for lack of intimacy, we'll work to:

  • Explore what intimacy means to each partner. Does it focus on emotional connection, physical affection, or a combination of both?

  • Unpack reasons behind the lack of intimacy, such as unresolved conflicts, stress, differing needs for closeness, health conditions, or life transitions.

  • Learn how to share feelings, practice vulnerability, and nurture a deeper emotional bond.

  • Discuss desires for physical touch, address any insecurities, and find ways to make physical intimacy feel safe, pleasurable, and fulfilling.

  • Develop skills to express your needs and desires around intimacy without fear of judgment or rejection.

Lack of intimacy can be a complex issue, but it doesn't mean your relationship is over. Therapy offers a path towards understanding the causes, restoring connection, and creating a more fulfilling relationship dynamic.

Pre-Marital Counseling

The excitement of getting married can sometimes overshadow important conversations about your future life together. Pre-marital counseling provides a dedicated space for proactive communication and addressing potential areas of conflict before they become major issues.

In pre-marital counseling, I'll guide you through discussions and exercises covering:

  • Learning healthy communication patterns, practicing active listening, and developing strategies for navigating conflict in a constructive manner.

  • Discussing your financial goals, spending habits, and beliefs about money. Creating a plan for managing finances together can prevent future stress.

  • Exploring your desires regarding children, aligning on parenting values, and discussing potential scenarios you may encounter as parents.

  • Clarifying your expectations for household responsibilities, career goals, and how you envision dividing your time and energy as a couple.

  • Openly discussing your sexual needs, desires, and boundaries to foster a healthy and fulfilling sex life.

  • Exploring core values and discussing how they might shape your decisions about lifestyle, religion, and other important life choices.

Pre-marital counseling is an investment in your relationship.  Think of it as a proactive step towards a strong foundation for a happy and lasting marriage.

Non-Traditional Relationships

If your relationship falls outside of traditional societal norms (such as open relationships, polyamory, or other non-monogamous structures), you may face unique challenges. I offer a safe, inclusive, and non-judgmental space to explore your relationship dynamics and find support for building healthy, fulfilling connections.

My work with non-traditional relationships centers around:

  • Clarifying what your ideal relationship structure looks like, addressing personal fears and desires, and setting realistic expectations.

  • Developing effective communication skills and establishing clear boundaries that foster trust, security, and respect for all partners involved.

  • Working through common emotional challenges and finding healthy ways to manage jealousy, possessiveness, or insecurity that may arise.

  • Coping with potential judgment or lack of understanding from others, and building a support system that affirms your relationship choices.

  • Addressing any logistical or legal complexities that may be unique to your relationship structure.

My goal is to empower you to create and maintain the type of relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether you're exploring new relationship models, navigating challenges within an existing structure, or simply seeking understanding and affirmation, I'm here to support you.

If you're ready to prioritize your relationship, reach out for a consultation. Let's start working towards healing and a clearer path forward.